Inpestation - What is it?

With the month of Adar II in full swing, I took the liberty of coining
a new term, which will hopefully not stick in your minds for too long.
Pest infestation is a common bane for many, especially if you live in
London. It has been reported that there might well be more rodents in
the various labyrinths sprawling underneath the city - think of the
River Thames, the sewers and the Underground tunnel systems and other
sub-terra spaces that Rats call home. The problem really becomes
yours when these critters decide to come above ground level and they
happen to feel cosy under your floorboards or worse, the well- heated
rooms in your house. However much we try to protect ourselves, it
takes ingenuity, stamina and endurance to fend off these little
invaders and keep them out indefinitely. Those cute broad-tailed
Squirrels pose a similar problem with sometimes worse consequences
than their thin-tailed cousins. Many houses in the suburbs are
damaged by squirrels gnawing through wooden trusses, beams and
floorboards in the upper floors. Both of these species are notorious
for amongst others chewing the rubber insulation of electrical cables,
which sadly ends in their demise. A common side effect could lead to
broken leads, severing your power supply. Pigeons and other
city-dwelling birds may contribute to filthy window sills and
windscreens, contamination of water tanks and may also cause gradual
degradation of the paintwork if exposed to droppings. So, what makes
you think that you have one or more of those unwanted visitors
squatting above or beneath you? Usually you will find an increase in
tourist traffic when a building project gets underway in the vicinity
of your home. Rats and mice like the peace and quiet afforded by
built-up areas; once the power tools cause vibrations, they will come
out of their holes looking for more pastoral pastures. Remember: if
you've seen a delivery of a pallet of building bricks, you may well
expect a marked increase of Rodential visits.... Prevention is
paramount if you want to save money, anguish and neighbourly
relations: to be protected means to be prepared.
Rule 1. When you see a rat, keep cool, even when you feel like
panicking - you will achieve next to nothing.

Rule 2. Always sweep up after a meal, ensure toddlers have only food
that don't crumble and keep fruit and vegetables in strong enclosures.
Failing to follow up on this vital housekeeping is like putting out a
sign (in rat language) saying: Welcome!

Rule 3. Using one of the following won't solve the problem: Sticky
Pads, Traps, Poison and the like will not address the root of the
problem. If I may use the Talmud's saying and apply it to our case in
hand: ??? ????? ??? ??? ???? ??? Lav Achbara Ganev Elo Chore Ganev
(lit. the mouse isn't the thief, only the hole): Find out where it
came from; only follow the following instructions if you really want
to solve your problem: get down on all fours and 'walk' around the
perimeters of the rooms on the ground floor, this way you might feel a
slight breeze coming your way. You can find more openings by checking
the air vents in the lower part of your window bays, where grilles may
be broken or bent. These could just be the direction from where the
rat comes in as it will always be looking for an exit towards the
upper parts, which is your ground floor.

Rule 4. Once you identify all possible entrance avenues, use steel
chicken wire - they can easily chew through plain metal ones - and
affix it to the openings. This way your house can still benefit from
the airflow that is provided by the vents yet it will prevent unwanted
guests from paying you a visit. Similarly, install bird guards to
prevent them from landing on the surfaces around your house.

Rule 5. If you find some of the openings unnecessary and you want to
block them off, don't use plain cement; rats can work their way
through it quite easily and mice find cement nice. Just add glass:
break a glass container to bits and mix it with the cement, then block
the hole with the mixture. Be careful when working with this potion
as - remember? - it contains glass shards. Once a rat gets its teeth
bloody on the glass, it will go away looking for an easier target and
hey, the SPCA doesn't work underground...

Rule 6. Whilst it is deplorable that these creatures are at times so
revolting, do take youngsters to a wildlife park, a zoo or farm. This
will ensure they grow up knowing that these critters exists in real
life too, not just in story books...

Rule 7. Last but not least: With the upcoming Purim Yom Tov, please be
mindful of people whom even a Rabbit costume gives them the shivers;
tell the kids to at least take off their hoods when knocking on
people's doors.