With the upcoming Yomtov of Purim, I collected valuable advice and some novel ideas for your future building project. Most of the following anecdotes - if not all of them are real life stories, so you have been forewarned.
First things first: if you want to know the difference between a weeping radiator valve and a dripping tap: the first will eventually create a hole in your wall, whilst the latter will bore a hole in your wallet. Whilst we're on the subject of preventative maintenance, it's worthwhile mentioning another common misunderstanding: to prevent dry rot in your bathroom - especially if the bath has been fitted on a wooden frame - never use plain silicone to seal your bath; rather use flexible sealants (example: Evo-Stik Serious Stuff All Purpose Sealant - NOT adhesive...) which addresses the problem of "weight movement". Weight movement is caused by the combined weight of a person's body and the water in the bath tub, which causes the rigid silicone to break, thereby allowing water to seep through the cracks. The best way around it is to ensure that the bath fitter stands inside the bath tub or the bath is full of water when he applies the sealant and beading to the gap between the wall tiles and the bath tub. That's perhaps the reason why some builders - especially those hailing from some parts of the Eastern Block - call it Sillygone...
Doting on a tiler is like walking across a still-wet floor - very uncomfortable for the employer and employee. However this doesn't mean that you should allow him to lay tiles without stretching a string across the floor or wall - to keep the tiles in a straight line.
So, you know not to breathe down the tile's neck - nevertheless you should still insist that when he is finished sticking down tiles around the drain cover, he can demonstrate that he can still lift it. Failing this, you could face the prospect of having to drill through the adhesive seal, which by now is rock hard - when the blocked drains make your life unbearable.
As we've mentioned our faithful builders from across the channel, here's a piece of advice that may well lead to major financial losses if left unattended. Warn the foreman to look out for potential hazards like drilling holes into pipes, severing electrical wires or ruining the wallpaper at the neighbours...
For those of you renting out property to tenants, remember that when they call you up in middle of the night that there's no heating, don't get caught up in their panic, just tell them to top up their gas meter...
Never allow a washing machine hose to be fitted between the gas pipe and the oven, the consequences may not be funny at all - even though this is what some cowboy builders have been doing to cut corners. Similarly, when putting up partitions check to make sure the correct insulation boards are used as failing to do so may expose the occupiers to be exposed to extremely hazardous situations. Like when one contractor used an old feather quilt - highly flammable - to 'fill' the gap between the plasterboards instead of the fire-proofed sound-prevention filling blocks...
The same applies to preparing a concrete floor: never settle for bin liners when heavy-duty sheets are required to insulate against water seepages.
Once the building works are finished, be on your guard; some builders will try to dispose of excess cement by pouring it into drain gully. Next time it rains, you - and your neighbours - will waddle in a pool of rainwater, whilst the 'professional' brickie has made it off with your cheque and is relaxing in the shade.
When painting a floor, advise the master painter to start from the far corner of the room and work his way back towards the entrance of the room - unless you have a spare room for an overnight stay - rule of thumb: don't let him paint himself into a corner...
Now some D.I.Y tips: When fixing wooden cabinets, use broken matches as wood filler, the screwdriver will work the screw through the new filler and it will stay there for a long time to come. You could use screws that are either too small: they don't keep the door in place for too long or you could use too long ones that will stick out and you may cause health and safety issues as people get scratched...
Wishing you a happy Purim and a safe Pesach cleaning.
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